Hello Inner Klutz, it’s been a few days

Hi there inner klutz, no please, just sit.  If you keep wandering around you’re more likely to break something else. *crash*  sigh…

Well. I hadn’t really done anything heinously kltuzy.  Although I have a few bruises, those pop up whenever I bump into things so I don’t count that.

I wanted to go into the basement and sit and use my laptop.  I need to use my laptop in the basement because it’s the only other place in the house with three pronged outlets.  I didn’t bring home my adapter because I was under the impression that I was going back to my college apartment in a few days.  Not anymore!  My dad has a hernia and he’s getting surgery soon which means I have to stay here and help out.  Which means I don’t know if I”ll be able to see my pre schoolers on friday, so I am attempting to schedule a meeting with them on Wednesday.  I really want to see them.  Those kids really do make my life better.

But I have to be here or Mom will yell about how I’m not helping or I’m in the way or something.

Back to the story.

Without my adapter my laptop needs to charge in the living room or in the basement.  I went to take it from the living room to the basement because the basement is nice and quiet and in my haste I did not see that my father charger cord for his laptop was tangled with mine.  So I tried to take my charger and BAM!  His laptop came tumbling down.

Fuck.

He just gave me this really horrible look and told me that if I broke his laptop, I was paying for it.  I did not break it.  It was fine.

I’m just upset.  And I know he’s stressed out about the surgery, no one likes going under the knife.  I know.  I know Mom is cracking because she hates this time of year.  I know my brother is… well… fine strangely enough.  The tension from my parents though is killing me and all I want to do is grab my guy and cuddle and cry until i feel less like breaking apart at the seams.

Damn you Winter blues and accompanying mood swings.

Damn you inner klutz!

No stop!*crash, bam, smack*

Maybe you should just stop moving.  Even then, she’d still break something

Winter Blues Problems 1

Ugh, this is why I stay in bed.

The Winter Blues make me so worried about everything.  Every little last thing worries me.  If you have a conflict with me, then it’s going to cause at least twice the stress of the average conflict because this time of year makes me crazy.  If there’s stress in the house or the apartment, then as an empathetic person I hold on to it.  It makes me sad and crazy because my hold over my own emotions is so tenuous.  That’s why I like happy people, they make me happy.

I woke up early and now all I want to do is sleep.  Perhaps I’ll fit in a nap between running around and visiting people.

Cuddles, I desire cuddles

Chilled to the bone

Despite the blankets

the robe, the sweat pants,

even the yellow hat

I am still chilly

Cold in my house

My laptop humming away

Coffee long since drunk

My body still craves heat

Under the covers

In your arms

I do not like the cold

I prefer warmth

Like summer heat

that I find in your embrace

Or in the middle of July

Where all I need to wear

is shorts and a bikini

So be content

Warm, not chilled

Fuck this cold weather