Hoppy Easter! (see what I did there?)

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I know not everyone celebrates this holiday, but either way have an amazing day.

If you do celebrate, what did you get in your Easter basket?

I got some new eye shadow palettes, some gift cards to ULTA, iTunes (which has already been used), and grocery money, as well as… BOOKS!  I got Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaimen and The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery.

If you’re wondering what I bought on iTunes, I got a song by Jon Cozart (if you don’t now who he is, go look him up… like fucking now), some songs from teh Next To Normal Soundtrack, Do You Hear the People Sing ? from Les Mis, Titanium by David Guetta, I Am The Doctor, and all of Sherlock Season One soundtrack.  before writing this I was dancing around in my pajamas to the music.  I am happy little bunny today.

HOPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

(or if you do not celebrate, HAPPY SUNDAY!)

Making up Stories

Hi everyone.

As a writer, I understand the importance of making up stories.  It’s how writers live, by making up stories.

However, when making up stories about your life is your way of seeking attention, I tend to have a small, somewhat minor problem when your stories get ridiculous.

A friend of mine is telling me she had a panic attack.  I understand panic attacks because I get them.  I also know her family.  While they are eccentric, I know for a fact that they would never intentionally hurt her.  She’s making up this story about how they held her down and tried to force feed her a piece of cake.  It just… the way she’s telling it has me going… I know you’re lying, just stop and say you had a panic attack over the guy you used to like because we all know that’s how it really started.

I’m sorry if this is a ranty post…

 

When Life Catches Up

Good evening bloggers,

I am so sorry that I haven’t posted a real post in… almost a week?  I haven’t been feeling well, my boy’s birthday was this week (I had to plan for that), I’ve had a lot of homework due for classes and I still have more to do.  I’m going to try and post again this week, but I make no promises.

The end of the semester is always hard.  Last year I was also dealing with the emotional problems of a break up and the ex wouldn’t leave me be.

This year, at least, while there may be work, I am still happy.  🙂

I swear, I’ll try to post again soon.

So much to do, not enough time to do it

I apologize for the lack of posts in the past few days.

My homework load has significantly increased.  I have two very important birthdays coming up that I need to prepare for.  I am dealing with this horrible cold.  The weather refuses to stay constant (snow one day, then sun the next).

I will do my best to post, but I am unsure when that will happen.

I love you all.

Don’t Forget To Be Awesome!

Hormones (and a very interesting visitor)

Before I get into my big point, I’d like to note that I got 22 vies today all from one person…  While I am flatter, still a little concerned.  They are from the US, so I assume it’s one of my friends checking in on me.

So, to the main point of this post is my hormones.  Like many women, I get particularly hormonal at certain times of the month.  While I have birth control that helps with that, I can still be quite the bear when I want to be.  However, my hormones usually get me to this point once a month where I literally am at a loss.

I get exceptionally mood swing-y.  I go from happy to sad to meh to angry to normal in a few hours, or minutes.  I see mistakes in everything I do and in my person.  I see myself as un pretty, as a failure, as a general bad human being.  I second guess everything and apologize a lot.  For example, my boy had an almost accident today and I was really scared.  He told me what happened and all I could say was, No getting hit by cars!

I just thought it was so stupid and pointless and crazy and I was like stupid stupid stupid.  And so I made sure that later he knew that I was glad he was safe and sound and that I loved him.  He was still shaken up about it later and I made sure to tell him that I was glad he was safe and that I was sorry I belittled it and that He is so important to me.

It’s little stuff like that.  It just drives me up a wall that I do things and it sounds so bad to me.

Pretty in Pink and I are texting and she’s helping a lot.  My boy is so understanding and he knows that this time of month I’m just crazy and he understands that.  He gets that. He’s amazing.

I’m sorry about all the ranting that just happened.  I love you guys for putting up with me.

On the list of good things that happened today, I went driving a lot with Amy Pond and I did really well.  we went shopping and I bought some spot treatment from LUSH.  We tried on pretty dresses and we just had a good day.  I even made dinner (baked potatoes and broccoli).  Now I’m at home because tomorrow… I GO SEE THE ADDAMS FAMILY!!!! I am super excited and crazy happy about it.  🙂

I hope that your weekends are going well!

Don’t Forget To Be Awesome!

What do I do when it rains?

Hello again,

Two posts in one day!  Not entirely out of the ordinary, but certainly something to celebrate!

In order to my mind of off my worries about scheduling and my sick roommates, I went to youtube and was watching some Rugrats.  I loved the show as a kid, it was beautiful and really fun for me.  I’m watching the episode where Grandpa Boris is telling the kids the story of Noah’s Ark.  Angelica tells the babies it’s going to ran for forty days and forty nights.

The first thing the babies say is how much fun it is when it rains.  Chuckie’s dad gives him hot chocolate.  Phil and Lil’s mom lets them watch Reptar video and stay in their pajamas all day.  This made me think of the question, what do I particularly enjoy doing when it rains?

Well, if I can avoid classes, I do.  I stay in bed all day and enjoy being warm.  I put on rainy day music, which tends to be something like the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone score and listen to the quiet against the rain on the windows.  I usually get head aches when it rains, so I drink warm tea or coffee.  I also tend to read a lot when it rains, just because I’d rather it not being raining at all.  My introvert comes out and i just want to be quiet by myself.

I don’t know why the rugrats episode made me want to write this, I guess I’m trying to keep calm and this sort of things helps

A Fear

Good morning,

So I schedule for classes at college in about… an hour and a half.  I’m a little worried that all of my classes will some how fill before then.  I know that probably isn’t the case, but that doesn’t necessarily stop me from worrying.  however, my fear of not getting my classes is not what this post is about.

My fear… this is kind of a silly fear, but it’s a fear I’ve had for a very long time.  I fear throwing up.  I can’t stand it.  I would rather get blood drawn or hang out with all of the people I despise than puke.  Why?  Why do I hate is so vehemently?

When I was three, yes I can remember that far back, I had a nasty stomach bug that only reacted when I had milk.  Other dairy products, like cheese or yogurt, did not affect me, just straight milk.  So I haven’t had milk since.  When I was seven, I got another stomach bug in the summertime.  I ended up puking in my local library.  To my seven year old self, after I got better, this logic stayed.  If I didn’t eat, then I wouldn’t have anything to throw up.  So I went through a period were I ate very little and food gave me a lot of anxiety.  It took several years, but I have done so much in conquering my food anxiety.  I still have get attacks once in a while, but they usually only last through the winter and fall season.  However, when someone who lives with me or whom i work with gets sick, I panic.  I freak out and start trying to calm down and relax, but it’s really difficult for me to do.  The panic takes over and I’m fucked for the day.

Amy Pond got sick last night.  I don’t think she has the flu or anything, just some food poisoning because she has no other flu symptoms.  Which means it’s not contagious which means I should not be panicking.  Yet, I am.

Let’s hope I can calm down and keep myself under moderate ease until I’m done scheduling.

Excitement

Good Morning!

It’s eight o’clock here and I have actually been awake since six.  Maybe because I was trying to convince my boy that his phone was an hour off and if he didn’t get out of bed, he’d be late for work.  Or maybe it’s because I AM GOING BACK TO PRE SCHOOL TODAY!

Now, for those of you who have only recently started following me, let me recap.  from September to December of 2012, I had a field placement in a pre school classroom not too far from college.  I fell absolutely in love with my students, and everyday I went there, I felt good about myself.  Now, around the end of September, my (then boyfriend) dumped me unexpectedly and I was pretty much at a loss for what to do.  There were a lot of people who helped me out at that time.  One of them was a blogger, a couple were my roommates, one of them was Call Me Maybe, another was Horsing Around.  I had so many influences that helped me get better and helped me become a better person.

One of the biggest ones was my pre schoolers.  No matter what was happening in my life, whether it be school or homework or social problems or boys, they were there for me.  Now, I don’t mean there for me in the traditional sense that they let me vent and talk and cry.  These kids always came in with smiles and hugs and they would take me away from my life and my problems.  It also helped because I could see the impact I had on them.  I watch a child who had trouble in social situations get better and make friends.  I watched them grow and laugh and learn.  It’s a beautiful thing, a wonderful thing.

I’m so excited to go back and visit them.  i get the feeling though that my heart will probably break when I have to leave today, but I don’t give a damn.  I miss my kids.