There is a not a lot of FUN in funerals.
Funerals are these things we do were… it’s like we understand that today, for this time period, we are expected to be sad, to mourn, to grieve. We dress up, we go to places we may not normally visit and we deal with death for the day. We remember those who have passed fondly, but we are sad about it.
My Nana’s funeral was today. I woke up early, dressed up really pretty in some new pants, kitten heels, a pretty blue top and a blazer. I had on my new jewelry and was exhausted the entire day. I stood at the front of the room with my dad. Happily, unlike the last funeral, I was not mistaken for my father’s newer trophy wife. I kid you not, that happened last year. (PS my parents are happily married and have been for many years.) No one dropped anything (my brother and I dropped the ceremonial bread last time) during the Catholic Mass for my Nana. I didn’t completely break down in the church. There were jokes about boiling holy water.
Then we went to the grave yard and stood to watch my Nana’s ashes be placed in the earth. We placed a flower on her grave, on my Pop’s grave (my grandfather passed away about nine months before) and then went to place flowers on my uncle’s grave.
I don’t usually burst into copious amounts of tears in public, but my uncle’s grave is something that triggers it every time. I cried the most at his funeral, I cried last year when i saw his head stone at my Pop’s funeral, and this year was no different. My uncle died in 2010, on the day of my high school graduation. He was the first person I had really known to pass away. He was far too young, he was far too loved. His head stone pretty much causes me to burst into ferocious crying because I miss him, because his memory lives on and because he will not be forgotten. He was a great man, so was my Pop and my Nana was an amazing woman.
I have this… not detached way of looking at it, but this wonderful way of looking at those who pass on, especially my Pop and my Nana. Since my Pop passed on first, I can see him waiting on a bench up in the clouds, just relaxing. Since it’s Heaven, and you can do whatever you want in Heaven, my Pop is sitting on the couch with my uncle, watching a football game. My Nana is there now, happy to be with him. She missed him so much.
I can’t even imagine what my dad is going through. He’s lost both his parents. While we were at mass, the priest (preacher, father, guy running the show) talked about the love of a mother. I started crying because I can’t even imagine a world without both of my parents in it. It scares me. It scares me to death that one day they might not be there. Although, out of all the parents there (there are a few there since my dad has… a few other siblings) they look the youngest, they look healthy and good. It still terrifies me though. Utterly scares the shit out of me.
As for my opinion on funerals, I have one. When someone passes on, you should mourn, but you should also celebrate their life. Have a party, get drunk, and talk about all the great memories you have of them. That’s what I try to do. Celebrate their memories. My Pop was in the Vietnam War. My Nana was from off the boat from Ireland. My Uncle battled a drug habit for years and won. The thing about my father’s side of the family is that we are stubborn, strong, and we fight.
As a last note, I love you all. My followers, you are amazing. Celebrate life and love and the good things. Take a drink for me if you can.
Don’t Forget To Be Awesome!