Despite its spelling

There is a not a lot of FUN in funerals.

Funerals are these things we do were… it’s like we understand that today, for this time period, we are expected to be sad, to mourn, to grieve.  We dress up, we go to places we may not normally visit and we deal with death for the day.  We remember those who have passed fondly, but we are sad about it.

My Nana’s funeral was today.  I woke up early, dressed up really pretty in some new pants, kitten heels, a pretty blue top and a blazer.  I had on my new jewelry and was exhausted the entire day.  I stood at the front of the room with my dad.  Happily, unlike the last funeral, I was not mistaken for my father’s newer trophy wife.  I kid you not, that happened last year.  (PS my parents are happily married and have been for many years.)  No one dropped anything (my brother and I dropped the ceremonial bread last time) during the Catholic Mass for my Nana.  I didn’t completely break down in the church.  There were jokes about boiling holy water.

Then we went to the grave yard and stood to watch my Nana’s ashes be placed in the earth.  We placed a flower on her grave, on my Pop’s grave (my grandfather passed away about nine months before) and then went to place flowers on my uncle’s grave.

I don’t usually burst into copious amounts of tears in public, but my uncle’s grave is something that triggers it every time.  I cried the most at his funeral, I cried last year when i saw his head stone at my Pop’s funeral, and this year was no different.  My uncle died in 2010, on the day of my high school graduation.  He was the first person I had really known to pass away.  He was far too young, he was far too loved.  His head stone pretty much causes me to burst into ferocious crying because I miss him, because his memory lives on and because he will not be forgotten.  He was a great man, so was my Pop and my Nana was an amazing woman.

I have this… not detached way of looking at it, but this wonderful way of looking at those who pass on, especially my Pop and my Nana.  Since my Pop passed on first, I can see him waiting on a bench up in the clouds, just relaxing.  Since it’s Heaven, and you can do whatever you want in Heaven, my Pop is sitting on the couch with my uncle, watching a football game.  My Nana is there now, happy to be with him.  She missed him so much.

I can’t even imagine what my dad is going through.  He’s lost both his parents. While we were at mass, the priest (preacher, father, guy running the show) talked about the love of a mother.  I started crying because I can’t even imagine a world without both of my parents in it.  It scares me.  It scares me to death that one day they might not be there.  Although, out of all the parents there (there are a few there since my dad has… a few other siblings) they look the youngest, they look healthy and good.  It still terrifies me though.  Utterly scares the shit out of me.

As for my opinion on funerals, I have one.  When someone passes on, you should mourn, but you should also celebrate their life.  Have a party, get drunk, and talk about all the great memories you have of them.  That’s what I try to do.  Celebrate their memories.  My Pop was in the Vietnam War.  My Nana was from off the boat from Ireland.  My Uncle battled a drug habit for years and won.  The thing about my father’s side of the family is that we are stubborn, strong, and we fight.

As a last note, I love you all.  My followers, you are amazing.  Celebrate life and love and the good things.  Take a drink for me if you can.

Don’t Forget To Be Awesome!

Finally, a real postIt

Hi everyone.

First off, I’m sorry I haven’t been updating much, if at all in this past week or so.  I’m finding it very hard to sit and write.  Probably because every time I sit down and relax I feel sleepy and then all I wish to do is sleep.  Mono is tough and to be fair, I’m doing as well as I can with it.  I’m going to all my classes and doing homework and being social and having a active relationship.  It’s all a lot of work and it leaves me really drained.  Then again, I’m always tired lately.  Just exhausted.  However, I can make it through this.

On another random note, I’ve been trying to eat healthier because for the first week or two of Mono, I had a swollen lymph node and it hurt to swallow everything.  So there was a lot of soft, still mostly healthy food.  However, I had no appetite.  Now… Now I can’t seem to stop eating.  I”m trying to aim for healthier foods, but it’s been a battle.  I’m not feeling… I mean, I still feel pretty and cute and everything, but I’m feeling a little pudgy and hopefully, making healthier snack choices will help my case.

Another note, my Nana (grandmother) passed away on Friday.  She was really sick and now she’s some place warm and happy.  I guess… I have a lot of mixed feelings about this one.  A lot of it is family and personal related, but there is one random thing.  I went out to see Hansel and Gretel Witch hunters last night (more on the movie in a  minute) and i needed a warmer jacket.  I ran and grabbed a green fleecey one I got for Christmas.  I got into the car and realized that the sweater was from my Nana and I didn’t send her a thank you card.  This seems strange and silly all at once  but it made me feel so sad.  I guess I miss her more.  I’m still unsure about when the funeral is, so that should be fun.

Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters was not the worst movie I’ve gone to see in a while.  But it wasn’t brilliant.  I enjoyed all the action battle scenes, the score (well done Hans Zimmer), and Jeremy Renner, who played Hakweye in the Avengers.  So it was a fun movie.  Me and the boy haven’t been out to a movie since break. I thought it was nice.  We had the whole theatre to ourselves and he hid me when the really gross parts came on.

I hate to leave you all, but I will really try to write again later, a prompt or a story idea or something.  I need to get ready for class.

Love to all and Don’t Forget To Be Awesome!

Love for little ones

As a few of you know, I teach.  Or well, I want to teach.  I am in college so that I will be able to teach one day.  

This semester I worked with some of the most amazing and sweet pre schoolers.  They touched my heart in so many ways and I can’t thank them enough. 

When I heard about the shooting, I was heartbroken.  Those children, those little kindergarteners were so young, they had so much ahead of them.  to have someone take that away is cruel and horrible.  I kept thinking ‘what if those were my kids’ all day today.  

My heart goes out to those affected by the shooting in Conneticut today.  My prayers and thoughts are with you.