Day One Questions: The Future!

Here’s the deal.  I will answer eleven questions each day on a topic of my choosing.  You (my lovely followers) are free to ask more questions in the comments that I would be happy to answer.  No repeating questions, no repeating topics.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN! (or questions rather…)

1.  What is your future career choice?  Do you have more than one? Why did you choose it? Technically I have about five career options for my future.  If we’re going by the degree I’m going to get at college, then I will be an elementary school teacher of some form.  My degree is for teaching pre K through fourth grade and in a year (JUST ONE YEAR) I’ll have that in my hand.  I chose it because I really like kids and teaching seemed to be a very logical next step in the scheme of things.  That being said, there is another I could do with my degree.  I could be a nanny, a full time nanny.  Again, my degree would put me at an advantage because I have the experience and I am good with kids.  If I were to go back to school, I’d kind of like to get a degree so I could be a librarian.  I love books and I love helping people get books and find things they like.  I would rather enjoy being surrounded by books all day.  Speaking of books, career option number four is a writer.  I have never had anything published and it is a a very far off dream but I would love to have something published before I die.  I like to write and it’s something of a lasting imprint.  Final career option is to be a mother.  Some people wouldn’t necessarily call it a career, but I think of it as one of the most rewarding things.  I will be a mother one day, in addition to one of the above careers as well.  Kids are what make me happy and to have my own kids with a man I love is something of a perfect dream.  Even with the no sleeping.

2. Where do you think you’ll live in the next five years?  I think I will end up somewhere much like I was raised, a township with good school, somewhere in suburbia.  As much as I love  New York City, I don’t think it would be a place I’d want to constantly live.  I like simplicity, somewhere with a bookshop or coffee shop, somewhere with playgrounds and street lights. Somewhere I could call home

3. Quick!  You’ve just time traveled into the future!  What’s the one thing you’d like to see that has happened to society?  Personally, I’d like to see acceptance.  We judge, as humans often do, so many things.  We judge those we do not understand or those we think are wrong.  We just those who do not conform to the ‘norms’ of society.  I would like to see acceptance in the future.  Acceptance of religions without pushing your own onto someone else, acceptance of sexuality without saying ‘they’ll grow out of it’, acceptance of body type without calling someone fat, acceptance of everyone and everything.  Feel the love guys. (that was a really sappy and personal post)

4.  What will you do on this upcoming Saturday night?  What about next Saturday in a year?  In five years?  This specific Saturday in 2013, I will probably be at the beach with my boy and wonderful friend Pretty in Pink (BTW she just graduated!).  We will be drinking and laughing and playing silly games most likely.  In a Saturday in a year,  2014, I will probably still be trying to figure out how I graduated and be moving out of my house into a new place or back into my house or into an apartment or something.  I’ll also be begging for my nanny job back because it is a sweet deal.  On a Saturday in May in (counts on fingers) 2018, I would like to be married or engaged, maybe pregnant.  For my teaching job, pre schoolers, I would be thinking of lessons to end out the year and thinking of the beach vacation I’d like to take. 

5. Name six tv shows, books, or video games that are coming out soon that you cannot wait for.  Season three of Sherlock because the Reichenbach Falls was quite possibly the most traumatic thing for me to watch ever.  The 50th anniversary special for Doctor Who because DAVID TENNANT IS COMING BACK AND SO IS BILLIE PIPER!!!!!!  They are my favorite.  Arkham Origins because umm well, I loved the first two games and this one looks to be fantastic as well.  The Sims 4 because sims are fantastic and I love playing with them and if my laptop didn’t suck so much, I would still be playing with them…. Pokemon X and Y because I have a serious love for those games.  I like pokemon, always will.  They just make me feel like a little kid.  As for books… I am unsure what to put here, the majority of the series I have read are finished up and I am curious to see where I will go next in search of book.  As always, I await John Green’s next novel, what ever it may be.  

6.  What do you think your great great great grandmother (or grandfather) would have to say about the present (their future)?  I get the feeling my great great grandmother, who was part Native American, would tell me that I either needed to put on more clothes or to not take any shit from anyone.  From the stories I’ve heard, my great great grandmother was something of a minor bad ass in her time.  I also think she would be impressed at how far women have come in today’s society.

7. What technological advances are you looking forward in the future?  The green person in me says sustainable energy.  It’s the way of the future.  I think that someday, we’ll all be hooked up to it and the dependency on fossil fuels will lesson greatly, therefore making us a greener place.  (Yes, I like green).  I am alos looking forward to flying cars.  Why?  Because flying cars are awesome.

8. Utopian futuristic society or Dystopian futuristic society?  Which do you think is more likely?  Can one survive without the other?  With all the horrifying dystopian movies that are coming out, I have to believe that we are headed int hat direction.  The hopeful person in me desperately wants a Utopian society.  But then again, can the world truly be perfect?  Could we possibly achieve a place so peaceful and safe?  What would the sacrifices be?

9.  Name something you hate about the future.  The inevitability of change.  While I know change is good, I hate not quite knowing where I am going next.

10. What name do you hope will be popular in the future?  With all the people who read for a living, I hope that many literary names become prominent.  Names Like Agustus, Hazel, Harry, Hermione, Arya, Daenerys, and the like.

11. Speaking of the future, what are you going to do next?  My bet is probably continue to sit in bed and browse the interwebs, make lunch, and do laundry and the dishes

Where did she go?

He recalls that face, that tan skin

and the freckles across her nose that she hated

along with so many other imperfections

That he couldn’t see on her frightfully lovely body


The brittle nails that snapped, the stomach

That always growled, the shoulders slumped

downward, frail.  She had always been frail,

his winter born friend, his ice girl.


Where did she go?  In the volumes of fabric that

She carefully curved and layered over

The bones in her wrists, the points of her hips

and the breaks between rib bone and rib bone


He searches for the little ice girl, his little ice girl

Frantic amongst all the uneaten food and the sterilized sheets

Is she there?  Where is she?  Panic rises only to quell when

He sees her, a speck among tubes and  blipping machines


There she is, but he isn’t sure if she’s really there

Her cheeks are hallow and the laugh, like winter wind

Is nothing more than a puff of smoke.

Where did she go?


He’ll get his little ice girl back, strong like

Diamonds, he’ll give her his strength to clothe her

His love to feed her and all that he has to watch her

Come back, come back to him.


(Just a quick little update.  I know a lot of my poems are happy and good and just kind of girly.  But I write that way because writing the dark stuff tends to leave me spinning and a little scared.  It’s scary.   I’m sorry not all my poems are deep, but I do my best to write what I can.  I thought this was ok, I think…  Also, I don’t have any sort of eating disorder.  At one point when i was younger, I refused toe at for fear of throwing up.  It was a very bad time for me and that’s kind of where I draw this from.)


Good Morning!

It’s eight o’clock here and I have actually been awake since six.  Maybe because I was trying to convince my boy that his phone was an hour off and if he didn’t get out of bed, he’d be late for work.  Or maybe it’s because I AM GOING BACK TO PRE SCHOOL TODAY!

Now, for those of you who have only recently started following me, let me recap.  from September to December of 2012, I had a field placement in a pre school classroom not too far from college.  I fell absolutely in love with my students, and everyday I went there, I felt good about myself.  Now, around the end of September, my (then boyfriend) dumped me unexpectedly and I was pretty much at a loss for what to do.  There were a lot of people who helped me out at that time.  One of them was a blogger, a couple were my roommates, one of them was Call Me Maybe, another was Horsing Around.  I had so many influences that helped me get better and helped me become a better person.

One of the biggest ones was my pre schoolers.  No matter what was happening in my life, whether it be school or homework or social problems or boys, they were there for me.  Now, I don’t mean there for me in the traditional sense that they let me vent and talk and cry.  These kids always came in with smiles and hugs and they would take me away from my life and my problems.  It also helped because I could see the impact I had on them.  I watch a child who had trouble in social situations get better and make friends.  I watched them grow and laugh and learn.  It’s a beautiful thing, a wonderful thing.

I’m so excited to go back and visit them.  i get the feeling though that my heart will probably break when I have to leave today, but I don’t give a damn.  I miss my kids.

Feeling good

So today was interesting.

I went out with Azure to wander around town.  We had a great time.  We went into this little boutique and were trying on dresses.  The woman, this little Asian lady, saw that I had a small in this pretty lace dress.  She looks at me, pats my stomach, and says I might want the next size up.

First off, I’m all for comfort, but no one who doesn’t know my first name should be touching me.  Even then… Like on the arm is good.  The stomach?


And then she goes and insults me and my tummy.

So we left and I felt like shit cause Azure, she’s going to be bashful when she reads this, is gorgeous.  Like she models gorgeous, like men honked at us on the street gorgeous.

When we got back, we both put on dresses and took pictures.

I look stunning.  I know I’m gorgeous.  Sometimes I lose track of it.  Beauty is not just the skin you’re in.  It’s your attitude and optimism and happiness and life and pursuits.  I’m beautiful cause I can read in a dress and heels and look like a sexy bookworm!  I’m beautiful because I can love.

(I realize that my writing is not up to par, I’m tired and am jumping around a lot.)

Let’s talk about driving

Alright, so I am twenty one.  I’ve done a lot of things in my life.  I conducted a 400 piece marching band at the tender age of eighteen.  I’ve graduated high school.   I got into college.  I finally got admission into teaching education.  I worked at a daycare (with a boss I fucking hated) for four years.  I’ve been a nanny.  I have weathered problems and break ups and written and sung and blogged.  I’ve dated and flirted and done crazy things.

The one thing I haven’t done?  Gotten my driver’s license.

Yeah, I know…

It’s not because I’m lazy (although somewhat in part).  It’s not because I have this awesome Alfred Pennyworth type of butler to drive me around.  While I worked at daycare, I either took the bus after school or  I rode my bike.  I could walk to my high school.  I had friends who could drive, but I frequently walked places.  I still do.

Driving, well… it kind of terrifies me.  I got into a car accident when I was nine (got hit by a Bus) and my mom has always been very wary of driving.  She and her sister were both in accidents so it tends to leave her being very cautious on the road.  My mom knew I’d learn eventually, so she wasn’t very worried.

I got my permit, which is great but now comes the driving part….

Okay, I’ll admit it.  I CAN drive.  I know how to drive theoretically and can apply it in the real world.  I am just no confident about driving.  My boy has been letting and/or forcing me to drive his cars and I’m getting used to it.  Yes, he sits right nest to me and tells me where I’m going or encourages me.  I still freak out a lot and worry like a shit ton.  So I’m trying, I just…

I’m nervous about it.

All I can do about it at this point is hope for the best when I take my test.

Sunshine :)

Today is an amazing day.  NO, not because I woke up to my favorite person ever (although that does make any day wonderful).  Not because I got to eat at a diner and have great food.  Not because I watched a movie with a few friends, or because I”m actually being productive…

Today is a great day because it is sunny.

Sunshine is my best friend.  Thanks to seasonal depression, I am usually in a funk during the winter.  Well… with winter ending and the sun emerging, I can feel myself doing all that much better.  Today was warm and relatively sunny so I am super happy.

The sunshine is amazing.  I love it 🙂

Marching into March

Despite the healing knife wound on my finger (damn you bagel knife) I am doing really well.  I slept really well last night and even went to be early!  No by choice, I was cuddling and I was really comfortable and content and all of a sudden it was eleven when I thought it had been nine.  Oh well.  I also just finished packaging up my paperwork for my admission into teaching and I give it in today and then I will be done with it forever.

Still writing from yesterday.  I’m hoping to finish up a chapter soon, maybe later today.  🙂


Today seems to be going exceptionally well 🙂


Hi everyone!

So, I wanted to let you know that I am feeling a little more like a human and less like a zombie.  Which is a good thing, although I hear brains are very tasty.  None the less, i am recovering nicely, or well… as nicely as I can.  I still can’t do too much, but I can swallow, my lymph node swelling is going down, and my fever broke a few days ago.  Tonight I head back to campus after dinner.  Once there, I will most likely be happy, say hi to everyone, kidnap my boyfriend, and fall asleep there after.

In order to keep my sleep stores up, I had to drop two classes.  This bothers me a little bit, but I know I can handle my course load now.  I won’t be worrying about having six classes, just four.

If you’d like to know how I’m doing otherwise, I’m doing alright.  I’m tired a lot and it takes a lot of energy to do much.  I nap a lot and still manage to sleep like the dead.

Part of me is really excited for class tomorrow.  Not for any particular reason, but my brain works like this.  I like to have a schedule, a straight forward set of things to do and when to do them.  I excel in school because I have such a schedule.  I also keep looking forward to really little things like being able to put on make up in the morning.  I haven’t worn make up in over a week because I haven’t really needed it but I am looking forward to it.  Why?

It’s a ritual I have.  Wake up, shower, breakfast, hair, make up, clothes, out the door.  the ritual keeps me going and makes me feel a little less crazy I guess.  I also really really like make up.  It makes me happy.  🙂

OH!  YES!  I get to get coffee with Pretty in Pink tomorrow!  Which will be nice because I have also been craving coffee like a mad woman.  Part of my morning ritual I suppose.

Alright, I think I’m going to read some more and then shower and pack.

Don’t Forget To Be Awesome!!!!