It has been a good twenty four hours

So, the last twenty four hours may have been the genuine best I have had in a long time.  It was just a consistent amount of really good things happening to me.

  • I got an A on my group unit plan. I had just assumed that we had failed.
  • I finished my book for my kids and letters to the parents
  • I had an amazing last day with my kids at preschool
  • While at my last day at preschool, I was giving a note of thanks, a thank you card from one of my kids, a book from one of my kids, a toy bear from one of my kids, flowers from the parents, a picture, note, and nice hand bag from my teachers, and cupcakes from one of my cooperating teachers.  As well as hundred hugs from all my little kids!
  • Despite my mistakes in my sestina, my professor and my classmates really liked it!  I thought it was going to fail.
  • I got my community service signed off on which means I am one step closer to being done with admission for education majors
  • I joined a community service club, which will be fun, is with education majors that I know and like, and will look great on a resume.
  • AND the guy I went on a date with told me he liked me 🙂  I haven’t known him that long so I am taking things slow like a snail and still just getting to know him.  But hey, it’s a good thing
  • THE END IS IN SIGHT.  This is week is almost done, which means finals will soon be over!

Now look at that list.  Seriously, hot damn it’s been a great twenty four hours!

I have a giant to do list for tonight, but only one third of it is homework!  That makes me so happy!

Ok, back to work.  I will try and post more over the weekend, expect plenty of posts!

 

Vulnerability

I feel…vulnerable lately.

I feel extra sensitive to all these strange, if not normal, things that happen.  I just feel almost out of touch and scared.

I got hurt a while back by someone I trusted.

While I have learned my lesson (don’t trust him), it hasn’t stopped me from not being able to trust others or not being able to trust myself.

I second guess a fair amount of things I do, making sure I can’t be hurt too badly by it.  I also have trouble trusting the more… intimate intentions of the opposite sex.  I fear that I am going to disappoint someone by not being able to be what they think I should be or what they want.

I understand that the above statement is silly.  However, I become happy by making others happy.  It’s how I work.  I am an easy person to make happy.  I’m just scared to disappoint someone because I can’t do all the things I like or should be able to.

I do know that I have these limitations.

I am alright with that.  I know one day, I will stop being so vulnerable.  Or I’ll find a man who doesn’t make me vulnerable.  I know it will happen.  I am positive of it.  I know it will happen.

I know it

For know, vulnerability is what I feel.