Formula for creativity

Previously, let rest for two hours

Instrumental music, soft or loud

Clacking, clicking keys

Muses running a muck in her mind

Manic smiles stretched across her face

She sits comfortably hunched

Happy as a clam, content

She writes, finally

Her characters who have sprung

Into her mind, into life

Are free, wandering across stark white pages

Talking, interacting, crafting worlds of their own

The writer is at ease

Dinner will be ready soon

Tea is bubbling, cat by her feet.

Happy, creativity flowing

Formula completed

Rant from last night and 200 LIKES!

So, last night I was feeling particularly down and I wrote up this rant.

Colleges that stuff a winter semester into their winter breaks need to have a basic understanding of something.  It drives the students who don’t want to, or whom are unable to, take classes insane.  I mean that literally.  It drives me nuts that I still have another two weeks of break left.  Most of my friends with colleges who have normal winter breaks have gone back and are busy studying and doing work.  The ones, like me, are just sitting around at home waiting.

Technically, I could be back at the apartment, however I am desperately trying to avoid buying my own groceries for as long as possible since my bank account is now controlled by my mother.  If I were back at my apartment, I’d have my roommates and my cat.  I love my family though, and when I go back to school I usually just stay there.  This isn’t freshmen year where I was home every weekend of every week I could.

I could be working, but I don’t have a steady job.  My steady job is babysitting and nannying in the summer.  I have babysat a few times and it has been wonderful.  However, that isn’t constant.  I see my friends and am tend be on the more active side of social.  These past two days have just been me in a kind of funk and it’s making me grumpy and the winter blues have not been helping.

I really miss my laptop.  It’s a weird statement, but I do.  I miss just sitting and typing on it, because let’s face it.  I love my iTouch very much, but the feeling of keys underneath my fingers is something that every writer knows and loves.  The same way I love holding paper and pencil.  The same way I love watching birds or turning a page or the snow.  By the way, I am not writing this on my iTouch.  I’m borrowing the house computer and writing on here.  It helps, writing, releasing my thoughts and letting them roam where ever they may please.

So I’m sitting a proper desk with a mug of hot berry tea in my sweats and a fleece jacket and writing.  It’s Tuesday night and I am still feeling a little down.  I know it will pass, I know that much.  I get little moments of sadness, boredom.  I have little moments of happy too.

When I’m bored, what do I do?  Well, I don’t sit in front of my television and browse.  Not lately anyway.   My brother has been home sick lately and if he has the couch, I can’t go down there.  I usually read or play on my iTouch or go on facebook and the like.  It’s a terribly boring time.  Sometimes I blog.  Clearly, I need to be doing more things.

I think another that might have me down is that I didn’t get to see my boyfriend tonight.  He was going to come by and give me a lesson for driving, but he got caught up at work.  Which is good actually.  He needs more work, he has had a dry spell and it’s bothering him since he has bills to pay and the like.  So work for him is good.  And I’ll see him soon since we’re kidnapping Pretty in Pink later this week.  I will have things later to do this week, it’s just at this present time in which I am bored as hell and feeling a little out of my mind.

I can’t tell if this has helped, but I think it has.  At least, it’s gotten it all out on paper, which is what I usually need.  Tomorrow I visit Nana, oh joy.  Let us hope that all goes well.  I am going to drink my tea and read some more, perhaps watch more John Green on Youtube.  Who knows?



So that was last night.

Today on the other hand seems to be going splendidly.  I am going to get tea with a friend in an hour or so, and perhaps I’ll find biscotti or a cookie at the cafe.  I will also get to see my boyfriend tonight and that makes me extremely happy.  I’ve done three loads of laundry, am reading a delightful new book, and will most likely finish it soon.

I want to thank the bloggers.  Because guess what?

I GOT 200 LIKES!!!!!!!!!!

That is amazing!  I adore you all and thank you so much.  It makes me so happy to see that you like what I write so thank you!

Finally, the end is in sight

So this is it.  Finals week.

My finals include turning in my field teaching folder to my professor (today), handing in my last response for Shakespeare (tomorrow at eight), digitally turning in my last paper (by midnight tomorrow night), turning my essay (by the end of today) and turning in my poetry portfolio (by the end of today).

That’s it.  That is all that separates me from a glorious, six week, work free, holiday break!

I cannot wait to stop moving.  I want to sit in my bed for a few days, subsist on tea and veggies, and read.  Read all the time, all day, everyday.

Azure Lights

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

I am about to fully introduce someone, and give her a name on this blog.  Until now it has all been hes and shes and I.  This is a first, I have been reluctant to do this, bring a named person in, but she has been wonderful to me lately.  That and we have the best conversations.

One of my roommates’ names is Azure Lights.  Obviously, this is an anonymous blog and she has a real name.  Here though, I call her Azure Lights.  She is tall, gorgeous, wonderful, impulsive and one of my best friends.  I met her last year during a class and after that class, she asked if I wanted to live with her.  I said yes.

Now, we have these little routines, all these little jokes.  We make a lot of tea in my apartment.  When she or I makes it, we ask the other and know how to make the other’s preferred tea (she likes peppermint with two spoons with sugar, I like my berry mix with two spoons of sugar).  I”ll being her the tea and she’ll bring me mine.  we have a roommate who has been causing us a lot of problems, so when we get angry, we start saying ‘I hate Mondays’ just so we can say something about her without bitching too badly

In the past couple of weeks, it’s just been stressful around the apartment, for reasons I’ll discuss later.  We’re both stressed and tired, and a few days ago she got drunk with some friends.  She gets very touchy, so she kissed me three times (once of the cheek, once on the head, and once on the knees since I had a bruise and she wanted to make it better).  So yesterday, we were all talking about it and i got up and kissed her one the cheek.  She turned so red, it was adorable.  Later on she slapped my ass, but that is also somewhat normal…

Finally, we were talking.  I run another blog and I haven’t had much to post there lately.  We’re talking and she goes ‘Write about our sex life.” I stop, turn around adn scream hystiercally, “We don’t have a sex life!”  We both just died laughing.  I love you Azure Lights.

Thankful Post

A friend of mine has been doing a thankful post a day for each day of the month.  I think I shall do twenty three things/ groups/ items/ happenstances I am thankful for.  (twenty three days so far in this month.)

1. I am thankful for my family.  I have a mother, father, brother, grandparents, and three cats.  (There is more to the family than that, but now is not the time for the complexities that are my family’s issues with one another).  I am thankful that they not only care for me, pay for my education, and keep me in the state of living which I have become accustomed to, but because they love me.  Even my seventeen year old brother tells me he loves me.  I am so thankful for all the things they have taught me and all the things they give for me.  I love them.

2.  I am thankful for my three very amazing, awesome, super special apartment mates.  Now, as I will tell, I only really like two of my apartment mates.  The third… is kind of a bitch.  so why do I mention three here?  Because there is … sort of a third?  he’s there a lot and he’s been a great friend and we all love him to pieces and you know who you are.  To my actual two roommates, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you both in my life.  I am truly blessed.  I am thankful that you all put up with my bitching and whining and complaining and mood swings and that drama that follows me.  To show my thanks, I’m making dinner this week.  And making you tea!

3. I am thankful for Mouse.  Mouse is my cat.  Not mine… but she is ours, my apartment mates and I’s.  She came into our lives ina tumultuous time and she is a beacon of crazy that I love.  MOUSE, MOMMY LOVES YOU!!!!!

4. I am thankful for my beds, both at my apartment and at home.  I love beds.  I do my best writing and plotting in beds.  Beds are also very comfortable and allow me to sleep.  Sleep is wonderful.  Thank you beds, I am so thankful I can fall into you and you’ll hug me with your warmth.

5. I am thankful for a very special man in my life. Not only did he swoop in when I was at my lowest point, he’s been there ever since.  He is amazing and so sweet to me.  He listens and does his very best to make me smile.  I am thankful that he is in my life because he reminds me that I am a good person, that I am cute, and that I am amazing.

6. I am thankful for tea in the night time, the non caffeinated variety.  It has really helped with my stress levels as of late and really keeps me more stable.  I am also thankful that it is just so darn tasty.

7. I am thankful for my new gal pal.  Anonymous blog, no names mentioned, but she’s such a sweetheart.  She is a lot like me and, coincidentally, we met up because we both dated the same stupid guy.  We’re awesome and she is, without a doubt, some one I am very thankful for.

8. I am thankful for books.  If you can’t tell, I am a bibliophile.  I have a serious book reading addiction.  I am thankful that I can find them, read them, reread them and love them.

9. I am thankful for coffee in the mornings.  Coffee, you delightful creature.  You help me get out of bed, into my skinny jeans and out into the world.  You encourage me to keep moving, keep going all the time.  Thank you

10.  I am thankful for my health.  Despite the colds, seasonal affective disorder and other odds and ends problems, I am in relatively good health.  I am thankful for it and I am happy to be able to get out of bed and do what I need to do.

11.  I am thankful for my kids.  I did not get pregnant and physically birth these children, but I am attached to my pre-schoolers and to many of the kids I babysit.  I am so thankful that they bring such light into my life.  I don’t know where I’d be without them.  Certainly I wouldn’t be at college….

12.  I am thankful for birth control, specifically the nuva ring.  NOT because I sleep around and hate taking the pill.  Because I had surgery on my thumb when I was eighteen and the surgery stopped my period and the nuva ring started it back up again and now regulates it and stops my periods from sending me to the hospital.  YAY!

13. I am thankful for my friends from home.  I don’t know who will read this, if any, but I love you all.  Seriously, I could not have made it this far without you.

14. I am thankful for my friends at school.  While I was quite the introvert freshmen year, I now have a great group of people who I know I can count on for anything.

15. I am thankful for my ex boyfriend who taught me how to shoot.  I’m pretty sure he looks back on it now and thinks… why did I teach her how to use another deadly weapon? What on earth was I thinking?  I am a pretty decent shot too.  Not great, but I can definitely hit where I am.  Should I need the skill, I now have it.  On the other hand, I feel like at this point, that’s all I can be thankful for from him.  He was an asshole.

16. I am thankful for hot showers.  No explanation needed because hot showers are so amazing.

17.  I am thankful for my laptop.  Not just because it’s a bitchin’ piece of technology, but because I don’t intentionally abuse, but I do.  I am thankful it continues to boot up everyday and let me go about my daily life online.  Thank you!

18. I am thankful for BBC and their wonderful programming.  Seriously, you guys write an amazing show.  WELL DONE!  Doctor Who, Torchwood, Merlin… seriously, you kick ass at this.

19. I am thankful for being legal to drink.  I am legal so now I don’t feel terrible about drinking.  I enjoy a hard cider or two with friends.  It’s wonderful.

20. I am thankful for my college education.  Without it, I’d have much less of a future.  I’d have much less of a life.  Thank you.

21. I am thankful for New York City.  You give me something to dream about on these cold winter nights.  I dream of wandering your well walked streets until I find the pulse of the city.

22. I am thankful for the stability of my companions.  You are all always there for me in some capacity, shape or form.  My life is erratic and my heart is so crazy that I simply must thank you for existing.

23.  I am thankful for YOU!  All of you!  My followers, fellow bloggers, wonderful amazing fantastic effing people.  I love you all beyond words.