What’s Wrong with Me: Not a question, but an answer

So, I decided to  make this a page rather than a post that it can be easily accessed and explained.  Unlike a post which can not always be found so easily.

My genetic history and predispositions are a very long list to accumulate.  Thanks to a very interesting familial background, I am at risk for depression, suicidal tendencies, substance abuse, mental disorders including but not limited to bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety problems and panic problems.

I have a slight anxiety problem, I am easily unnerved by certain things.  I get panic attacks, usually during the winter time.

However, that is not… exactly what is wrong with me. The anxiety and the panic attacks stem from a childhood sort of trauma, something I’m sure I’ll explain later.

I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known and the winter blues.  This disorder is believed to be related to light.  During the winter when there are less hours of sunlight in the day, it affects me.  I get tired a lot, I sleep anywhere between eight and twelve hours (if I can.  As a college student it is hard to sleep this much with class and work).  I lose interest in activities I usually enjoy and I crave carbohydrates, which leads to a winter weight gain.  (No I don’t like that part)  I find it hard to wake up some days and tend to have the craziest up and down mood swings.  It is more common for people with Winter depression to experience these symptoms rather than those of classic depression, like insomnia, decreased appetite and feelings of hopelessness.

This disorder means that I get down in the winter.  That does not mean I don’t like the winter.  I love snow with a passion.  However, this is the time of year where I sleep, eat, feel anxious and panic, as well as have intense mood swings.

What can I do about it?

I do my best to keep a regular sleep schedule.  I do my best to eat right and exercise because the endorphins created a natural high for me.  I try to stay positive and I allow myself some moments of peace, quiet, tea and a good book.   I also try to get as much natural sunlight as possible.  On nice sunny days, I’ll be writing happier posts.  On cloudy, rainy days, I’ll be writing average, perhaps sad or concerning posts.

This is what is wrong with me.  I go crazy in the winter.  I do my best to keep it under control.

I figured you might want to know, in case you read this blog a lot and wonder why this girl is so strange 🙂

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