Quieting Ease

There is a quieted silence

an easy weight on my shoulders

As I wake up, feed the cats

who scuttle beneath my feet.

 

Although I could return

to those soft sheets, still warm

I stay up, make something to eat

Pull out things to do

 

Creating a list of things

to do, dishes, litter, nails

I stop to pause, listening

to that quiet of summer in my house

 

Heat beaten back by air conditioning

Bugs fluttering away at windows

Meows of a lonely cat

An easy moment amongst my days

Counting Blessings

I am kind of, sort of, a little, not so much as earlier, in a bit of funk.  It happens.  The Nuva Ring, my birth control choice, tends to give me highs and lows, but that is very very normal for me.  But when I am in a funk I tend to be moody and crabby and icky.

So, what I tend to do in this situation is try to count the good things.  Writing works better than anything else.

ANNNDDDDD HHHHEEEERRRRREEEE  WWWWEEEEEE GGGGGGOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • I am in good health.  I am not sick nor ill, nor am I suffering from any major injuries
  • I have a job.  In this economy, having a job is a great thing.
  • I really like my job.  Yes there are downsides, but at the same time there is so much to love about it
  • My family is healthy and happy and I love them, as they do me.
  • I have a roof over my head, food, water, and plenty electronics to play with
  • I have books. Literally lots of books
  • My boyfriend is a constant blessing.  He makes me so happy
  • I have internet!
  • I have so many friends that are blessings and helpful and good to me
  • I got paid today
  • I went to Firefly, an amazing music experience
  • My muse is tentatively still present
  • I am tan (for the first time in my life, I am not pasty, pale or white.  BUT TAN)
  • I am healthy
  • I have an abundance of good things
  • I am loved.  I am loved by so many 🙂

I’m back!

I am so sorry for not posting in so long.

Work is kicking my ass.

But holy mother of God, have I been having an incredible time lately.

So first, I GOT MY DRIVER’S LICENSE!!!!!  This was a huge step for me and it has been great.  I passed the test and all is good now.  I still fear driving a bit, but I am much more confident then I think I am.

SECOND: I went to Firefly, the Premier East Coast Music Experience.  Three days, seventy two bands, and so much wonderful.

THIRD: I don’t know what to put for third except that I will try to keep writing more and more as much as I can, but I am literally dead on my feet all the time and I will try.  I PROMISE

Pillow fort and Doctor Who with Amy Pond

So, Amy Pond came back after I took my walk.  She’s been away for a while.  Like two weeks or so.

So we built this fort out of blankets and comforters and pillows.  We’re watching Doctor Who, season 5, the lodger.

I would like to note that Matt Smith’s legs are bloody gorgeous.  He’s was in a soccer kit and all I could think was… the doctor’s pant don’t do him justice.

matt smith four Matt smith onematt smith three matt smith two

Less than a week til work starts

Alright, so as some of you many or may not know, I work as a nanny in the summertime.  The reason that makes sense to me is because the kids go to school and have after school programs during the rest of the year.  However, int eh summer time, just like me, they are on vacation from all of that.  However, parents can’t always take off for a whole summer to watch and play and enjoy the warmth of the season that permeates us with sticky Popsicles and running through sprinklers and simply just doing the things that we enjoy most.

That’s where I come in.

To be specific about these kids, there are two.  They are both boys.  One of them is four and the other is six.  They are fair skinned and blonde and have blue eyes, and often get mistaken for being my own children (which leads to very interesting stories).  They are good kids and I have known the elder one since he was 18 months and the younger one I have known since his birth.  They are like family to me and I am like family to them.

So I nanny.

What is a nanny?  What is it that I do all day?

I get my butt out of bed early.  I make myself breakfast and much needed coffee.  I grab my bag, my lunch, and any activities that I plan on doing during the day, then I walk.  Yes, I walk to work.  I do not have a license, I also cannot justify driving what is essentially five blocks away from my house to the house of the two boys I nanny.  However, once I get my license and am able to drive, I probably will do to the fact that then I will be able to take the kids places and we won’t have to walk everywhere which gets boring and tedious when it gets hot.

So I walk there.  I drop off my lunch in the fridge, talk to which ever parent is there about whatever until that parent leaves.  at this point, the four year old might be up already or might still be asleep.  If he’s up, he gets to pick what we watch or if he’d like to read a book with me or if he wants breakfast or wants to wait for his brother.  Usually, we end up watching TV and I end up relaxing a little.  If neither child is up, I get that precious time to drink some more coffee and read without constantly listening for accidents or worries.

Once they’re both up, I make breakfast and we play games or get dressed and go outside.  I am pretty much their play slave until lunch, in which I make food and then there is nap time.  After that little segment of piece, they are both at it again with video games or going outside or whatever we choose to do.  Then the parent comes home, I walk home and generally don’t move for a little while because I am so tired.

But the thing about this summer, rather than last summer is that now we have a pool membership.  I think this will be great because I love swimming and pools and just generally all things that are involved in those.  The boys love to swim and we now have a place to go outside of the house.  There will also usually be kids they know there which makes my life a little easier and I will get to stay in a bathing suit for most of summer, something I haven’t done since I myself belonged to the swim club.

That was a lot of ranting about my job, or well the general directions and applications of my job.

Did you guys I know I love my job?

Seriously, I do though.  I work in the summers, I get paid really well (I won’t go into details, but I can usually stretch the money I make in the summer time to make grocery trips for all of first semester and half of second semester.)  I get to basically hang out with little kids all day and sure, they do crazy things like run around in their underwear or steal from one another or decide (you will have no idea how long it took me to spell that correctly) that it should be play fight time and then I am subjected to running and hiding and shin kicks.  These kids though, they are like my kids.  I love them and getting to work with them every day is fantastic.

Enough sappy talk about me and my love for young humans.  Let’s talk about what I’ve been doing since school let out.

Sleep.  There has been a lot of sleep.  I am enjoying not having to wake up for any particular reason.  There’s been packing.  Since I am moving otu of this apartment and partially back home, partially into my boy’s new house,  I have been packing a lot.  My room is pretty bare right now and it’s  strange for me.  I have been taking walks and making food and watching youtube (so much youtube) and reading.  There has been an insane amount of reading.  I plan on reading more actually once I am done this post.

Today’s to-d0: pack more stuff, read more, go for a walk because it’s not too terribly hot out and I’d like to walk without sweating an inhumane amount.  I should also make lunch and run the dishwasher again and then read and write and put my sheets in the laundry machines so that they can be clean and lovely.

DFTBA everyone and I hope you all have a lovely day!

The little things

She delights in the little things during her brief respite

Between academic courses and arduous hours of work

 

Like cream dispersing into coffee, swirling, marbled

And letting her body wake, not to the sound of an alarm

 

Folding laundry, warm and heady from the dryer

Late night interludes with her loud mouth cat

 

Fixing dinner for herself, crafting, creating and dining

The quiet laughter of a group of friends, together and apart

 

She loves the feeling of her extended showers,  steamed perfection

And the pages of silken books that slip through her fingers

 

There’s the tender kiss of her boyfriend’s mouth to her’s

As well as his sleeping search for her, to cuddle, to hold

 

She delights in the little things during her brief respite

Between academic courses and arduous hours of work

Broadway Bound Again!

I am unsure if I posted that on this blog or the other, so I will simply retell it here.

Every summer for the past three years, my mother and I have found the time and the energy (and the cash) to venture forth to New York City for a day or two, to go and see a Broadway show (or two) and to generally just wander around and enjoy the city the never sleeps.  I personally love this city and feel strangely at peace there.  There’s this pulse to the city, this pulse that thrums and hums and beats and it feels like… perfection to me.

However, this year we were unsure if we wanted to go or not.  We were unsure of what shows we’d go see, mostly because the big draw for the pair of us is to go and see a show.  WE FOUND SOME SHOWS THOUGH!

We are going to go see Cinderella on Broadway, as well as Newsies!

Both look spectacular and I am enthralled already.

Look out NYC, I’m coming back 🙂

random sexy poem

Pushed against the wall

Brick digging into shoulder blades

Pull my hair, light my fire

But be warned

I’m not the only one

Who is going to get Burned

 

Follow me down the path

Where roses bleed heat

And ivory skin is scarred by thorns

Moans and groans scent the air

The perfume of desire

Has never smelled so sweet

 

Now don’t turn me away

Or I’ll shackle those thoughts

Unburden that mouth

Until you achieve pliancy

Melting, morphing

Into this stunning nymph

 

Mine

Remember those flower questions?

Alright so two days ago, I did a questionnaire on flowers.

The questions kind of sparked something and my muse is waking up form her long slumber post finals.

I think I’d like to post some one shots that the flower questions inspired.  In the mean time, I’m still doing the questions a day.

My day has been… really lazy.  It’s ‘that time of the month’ and my cramps are kicking my ass.  I laid in bed all day watching youtube videos or reading or writing.  Really, it was attempting to write.

 

Day Four Questions: Music

1.  Do you have a favorite kind of music?  I don’t actually.  I have music that I love to listen to, but it changes so frequently.  I like to listen to lots of things.  Music is a form of expression for me and it’s something that I find thrilling.  I listen to classical, pop, punk, rock, country (to name a few).  Music speaks to me, so I listen to all of it.

2. What song is currently stuck in your head?  ‘Just Give Me a Reason’ by P!nk featuring Nate Ruess.  It’s been playing on the radio a lot when I go out with the boy and it’s very good.  I also really like Nate Ruess

3. Are their song lyrics that you find yourself connecting to a bad time in your life?  “Back to the sun/ Back to the shore/ Back to what I was before/ Back where I’m known/ back in my own very small pond/ Laugh with my friends/ when I arrive/ We’ll drop the top and just drive/ that’s fine with me/ Just let me be/ Legally Blonde”  This song is form the musical Legally Blonde, it’s sung after Elle gets hit on by Callahan and starts to leave.  It is a heart breaking song, one i immediately latched on to after my break up last year.  I played it on rep

4. Did you ever play an instrument?  I played the clarinet for ten years, starting in elementary school and finishing up with a year in college.   I also picked up piano senior year of high school and have been fiddling around with it ever since.

5. Were you ever in a band?  Not a garage band, but school bands?  Yes.  I was in my elementary school band, my middle school concert band, my high school concert band, my high school MARCHING BAND, and one year of college marching band.  

6. Do you find that music helps in certain situations or hurts?  Music, for me at least, helps no matter what.  You just have to find the right music.

7. What’s the first album you remember owning?  The Pokemon television soundtrack.  

8. Musicals: Yay or Nay?  YAY!  YES!  I love musicals, was in them in middle school, and have always loved a good show.

9. Does music inspire you?  All the time.  Usually to write

10. Theme music for a show that you still remember from when you were a kid.  The As Told by Ginger theme music.

11. Last song you listened to?  I’m Alive sung by Aaron Tveit